Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Loves of My Life

I have been reading all of the posts, trying to decide how/what to post. I am not good at all in writing things down, but I will try.
In 1977, I found myself pregnant so married my high school boyfriend & then lots of stress as my husband was a drinker & not a nice one. But I had grown up in a very abusive home & thought it was normal, both mental & the hitting. (Tho about 20+ years later my mom stop to it with my father) On 9-11-77(Yes 9-11) S was born....I fell in love. We then moved to CO away from family (his brother & SIL lived in Boulder) because he got a job with the railroad. All I can say is WOW...working for the railroad...lots of drinking & drugs! Then 4-8-83 J was born, before he was born I worried a lot about how I could love a 2nd child as much as I did the first...Not a problem!  Now my husband had been in & out of treatment a couple of times but within a month or so was back to drinking & the abuse! Finally, I had enough of the black eyes & bruises--moved back to Missouri with two small children to start all over. I went back & forth a couple of times to try to work it out, he was my drug, and would return with bruises each time. By the time I was divorced I was once again (1986) pregnant with A.
 Three young children, it was rough. I didn't get a lot of help from my family (my mom did everything she could but she was also living in abusive home & would pay dearly when she did) but my former mother-in-law was awesome & I loved her dearly! At times I worked three jobs to support us and yes I did a lot of things I am ashamed of, a lot of mistakes. But we made it. In 1988 I met my now husband and as far as my kids are concerned he is their dad...yes their dad is around but is still a drinker. J is the only one that really has much to do with him, S has wrote him off pretty much. A does have to see him every week because of being a foster parent to her half-sister. Both of my boys are Veterans.....S & his wife have been married for 14 years and  have one daughter,  S, (13yr)...S does work all the time but has a problem with staying at a job for more than a couple of years....I am sure it has a lot to do with PTSD.
J has had major problems in the past with PTSD. He is currently working on getting his third divorce (she was really more at fault than him). He has one beautiful little girl who with be 6 years in April. He has been rated at the VA as 30% disable but they are trying to raise it to 60-70%.
Then there is A and her husband Bobby...I am so proud of them. Amber has a little girl, M, who will be 8 years old in March) Bobby treats & loves her like his own. They then have P, 3 years old & little Brooklyn that just turned 1year. And they are foster parents for 1 month old K.
There have been a lot of ups & downs but I wouldn't trade them for anything. My kids are my best friends, even though when they were little I wondered.
All of my children & grand kids are my life & love them dearly.

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